Or, at least, as close as most humans will ever get…
Watching the almost-microscopic lights of Qatar glitter 35,000 ft below you outside the plane window, stars above you, as if you’re actually inside the milky way.
That’s how I rang in my 31st birthday last week – Athens to Doha – champagne in hand.
And I got to thinking of all the incredible lessons I’ve learned, which have come to define me so much more than any accomplishments or achievements ever could.
Here they are: 31 lessons for 31 years on the planet!
1. Relationships don’t have to be hard, but you DO have to get control over the stories your mind makes up about being loveable, worthy and appreciated
2. You can live the most incredible life and still feel empty if you don’t feed your soul, have a purpose and take 1% more action to it every single day
3. You don’t need anything fancy to start making money. No fancy website, logo or branding colours. You can start NOW... Just take a risk and ask someone to pay you for something!
4. You aren’t your parents and they aren’t you. You’re the one who has to live with your choices. So make the ones that are right for you, empower them and then love yourself for them. No one else is going to approve of you, for you
5. Everyone’s lives have mess, no matter how perfect they appear. Some people are just more willing to allow the mess without judging themselves… And accept mess is part of being human
6. Your needs can’t be met if you don’t share them. The average person WANTS to give you what you want and help you be happy. But you have to ask for that thing
7. The ultimate gift is trusting others enough to share your deepest desires – and the greatest courage is getting OK that others might not agree, approve or love you for them… And that’s OK too!
8. Other’s anger, judgment and criticism typically says more about their demons than your own
9. Forgiveness costs you nothing and gives you everything
10. Sharing your greatness and giving it to others does not diminish you... It just makes the rest of the room brighter for everyone else
11. You are an endless well – of love, power, strength. Give it away, because there’s more where it came from… Inside of you, just waiting for you to allow it
12. You are the only person who gets to choose what you want to believe about yourself. When your inner conversations get out of control, it’s up to YOU to set boundaries with yourself about what you’re NOT willing to tolerate
13. Sometimes you’ve done enough “work” on yourself and you just need to BE
14. You know you’re really starting to succeed when people start having all sorts of opinions about you... And saying them publicly. As one wise man said to me when I got my first “hate mail” (in my past life when I was a news anchor!): “The moment people take the time and energy to write down their disdain for you, you know you’re making an impact. Don’t be afraid to polarize your audience. There will be people who hate you as much as those that love you. That’s not your business”
15. When others’ energy disrupts your space, put up your glowing, golden energy shield. Imagine their energy physically washing off of you like water splashing off a rain coat
16. Get clear on what you are and aren’t responsible for in your life and relationships… And stop picking up everyone else’s dirty socks (literally and metaphorically). They’ll soon realize they need to pick up the slack… But not if you keep doing it for them!
17. It’s better to ask for the alone time you need and sit with your thoughts than push through a meeting, birthday party etc to make others happy
18. Falling in love is easy… Blending your personal sovereignty with loving partnership is the real work
19. If you’re unhappy, do something – anything – different. Choose something to be the meteor that spins your planet into a new, more empowering orbit
20. Almost nothing is permanent. Almost everything is fixable, renegotiable or resolvable. That means there’s really almost nothing you can ACTUALLY fuck up
21. Boundaries aren’t a rock wall. They’re a semi-permeable membrane… That means you can be a yes now and a no in 15 mins. You don’t have to apologize for changing your mind EVER
22. Learn to believe in yourself more than anyone or anything else. Become unshakeable
23. Things can feel amazing one moment and super shit in the next; that means it will feel amazing again eventually. Breathe. Allow. Stop judging where you’re at. Then get back into action even if it’s just 1%
24. Learn to glow and radiate your energy. It’s a skill and it will draw the right people to you
25. Stop doing small talk. Ask strangers meaningful questions. “What are you passionate about?” “What are you most excited about in your life right now?” “What is amazing about you that doesn’t get acknowledged enough?” Be that person who makes a difference for them just by being another human who is interested
26. Stop waiting for life to hand you things. Don’t know how or where to start? Ask for HELP. You aren’t an island. We accomplish more together than alone
27. Never be afraid to tell someone they can fuck right off (from love)
28. Practise the phrase “let me get back to you”… Then go away and decide if you’re a HELL yes to that volunteer event, helping your friend move or that business partnership… Or if you’re just saying YES automatically because you feel guilty
29. You can then be a NO to that thing, but still a YES to someone as a human. Tell them that, literally. “I’m a no to that, but a yes to you… Can we do _____ instead?”
30. Don’t let being right get in the way of being happy
31. Whatever that thing is that’s been lurking in the back of your mind… DO it. Start NOW. This minute. Don’t wait. Even if you just send one email, make one call or just say it out loud. You just don’t know how much time you’ve really got… If not now, when? If not you… Who?
Which of these is the biggest challenge for YOU?
Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. I want to hear from you!
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